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It just needed the happy accident of something that took it miles away from its over-familiar foundations - monsters we know inside out, and oppressively metallic sci-fi corridors we've pounded far too many times before.
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Is a sense of humour what AvP needed, then? I suspect not. By not taking AvP seriously, I found myself able to take AvP seriously.
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But he can read my gruesomely detached human skull. And, with immaculate timing, I found myself holding a Colonial Marine commander's severed head up to a retinal security scanner to "Can't read my can't read no he can't read my poker face." This is very true. Whereas with the game's own, understandably film-derived music ol'Predator-Chap felt plodding and fiddly, with a high-BPM soundtrack I find myself playing at three times the speed, feeling twice as superhuman and ten times as entertained. "Cause I'm out in the club" slish-slash-slice " I'm sipping that bub" splat-splat-hiss-screeee "and you're not gonna reach my telephone!" Elephantine roar of triumph. "My telephone!" Cyber-spear to the face "M-m-my telephone!" Disc whips through three Aliens consecutively. It's just an accidental discovery that this grim'n'gritty but tonally misfiring FPS is sorely in need of an antidote to its own unsmiling adventurousness. This is scarcely an unequivocal endorsement of Rebellion's do-over of their 1999 finest hour. In this reality, I turned its music off after a couple of hours and played Lady Gaga's The Fame Monster instead. In an alternate reality, I played it through, sighed, wrote terribly mean things about the game and that was that. This means its constant attempts to put the willies up you come across as tediously predictable, annoyingly momentum-scuppering. Whether that's the fault of the now over-exposed beasts, of the game's lurchingly empty atmosphere or both is academic. AvP3 fails on an absolutely fundamental level, given its classic monster subject matter - it's not scary. I didn't enjoy it at all until I decided to play Lady Gaga in the background. Which one's the Predator again? Is he that robot policeman, or is that someone else? As RPS's resident AvP expert, it is my duty. Despite the naughty words this bug had me shouting, this write-up's consciously penned as though it wasn't an issue - partly because I'm sure it will be fixed, and primarily because it seems the majority of players didn't suffer it.
#ALIEN VS PREDATOR GAME PATCH#
A patch hit last week which, though it didn't fix the problem, alleviated it enough that I could stand to play the thing. Like many other owners of the game, I suffered a bug which caused it to freeze for a few seconds every couple of minutes.
#ALIEN VS PREDATOR GAME PC#
It's late because, frankly, the PC port wasn't in rude health. Continuing the RPS trend of being up-to-the-minute with its verdicts, here's my brain-meanderings about the recent AvP sequel/remake.